March, 2015

Home | About | Brags | Submissions | Books | Writing Tips | Donate | Links

Issue #66

Looking for free, tantalizing Tales of the Old West?
You're at the right place.

READ - VOTE - TELL a FRIEND!

Read this month's Tales and vote for your favorite.
They'll appear in upcoming print volumes of The Best of Frontier Tales Anthologies!

Indians
by Michael Matson
It was Higgens who came up with the brilliant idea of impersonating Indians to steal the cattle. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

Bright Starr
by Jane Hale
Which will be the victor in a battle to the death, the African lion or the American grizzly bear? A young beauty's fate depends on the outcome.

* * *

Lacoster's Sparkler
by Jeffrey A. Paolano
His partner Jake was a man of honor, who would do the right thing or die trying. Could Zeke measure up when the dust settled?

* * *

A Cautionary Tale
by Jack Theodore
When the Grim Reaper comes, you'd better be sure you know what you're doing!

* * *

The Day We Hung the Tallest Thomas
by Douglas Esper
Lovely Jane was delighted to hear about the capture of the infamous Thomas gang, a family of thieves who had terrorized the country. Deputy Otis, ever a gallant man, was happy to spend the night regaling her.

* * *

Want all of this month's Western stories at once? Click here –

All the Tales

The Day We Hung the Tallest Thomas
by Douglas Esper

An unsettling creaking noise emanated from an occupied noose, hanging from the gallows pole. The coarse rope shifted back and forth slowly, just a dozen paces behind Otis, the town's head deputy.

Otis sat at a weathered table outside of a saloon known more for its women than for its whiskey. Across from him, a stunning brunette shifted her long legs and downed her drink.

Her green eyes sparkled with torchlight and mischief.

Otis felt her foot brush against his. "Jane, what can I do to erase that frown from your pretty face? I'd hate to think you didn't enjoy your last night in my wonderful town."

Jane sized up Otis and spoke with a mixture of disbelief and admiration, "Tell me again how a deputy from the Midwest territories was able to catch all five of the notorious Thomas family?"

Otis flashed a smile of yellowing teeth from under his handlebar mustache, partly drunk, partly exhausted, but mostly humored. He had chased each and every Thomas for the better part of two years through four states, three territories, and one ill-advised jaunt deep into Indian lands.

The deputy poured another round. "I don't want to bore you with the petty details. Four hangings in four days is too much for any man to stomach, let alone a fine lady such as yourself."

Jane raised her glass and clinked it against the one offered by the deputy. "Look at you, all smug and righteous and—"

"Proud?"

"Reckless."

Though typically a man of caution, Otis felt his celebration and self-glossing had been earned. For each of the last four days, he had hung a member of the notorious family of thieves, starting with the shortest of the bunch and making his way to the tallest Thomas, who would be executed today at dawn.

Jane sipped her drink, which only made her thirstier. "I have to admit, sugar, when I first met you, I despised your cocky attitude, but having spent the entire night together downing every drop of liquor left in town, you're starting to show me your better qualities."

"I had no disillusions. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were a handful."

Emptying her glass, Jane chased the last of the whiskey with a shot of heartburn. "Don't try and flatter your way out of this, Deputy. I want to hear the whole story about the Thomas family before they're all dead and gone. Catching the first two, I could understand and maybe even applaud. They were both loud-mouthed amateurs. Now, arresting the third Thomas was a surprise, him being the toughest of the gang and all, but when you managed to bring in the fourth man alive, I knew there was more to you than met the eye."

"So you were able to follow the story pretty close then, even traveling as much as you did?"

"You could say I followed the story too close, I suppose. Got caught up in the headlines about the handsome, young deputy chasing down the evildoers, like every other girl with a dream. Though I was rooting for things to go the other way, I'm glad we got to share tonight."

Nodding in appreciation, the deputy replied, "I was thrilled when I received your note. Somehow I managed to catch each Thomas without breaking a sweat, but a mere invite for a drink from you and my heart started racing."

A large black bird cawed from atop the clock tower across the street. A few other crows looked down from their various perches around the run down town square, but decided to stay quiet for the time being.

Doing everything in her power to ignore the dead body swinging in the warm breeze, Jane kept her gaze on Otis by tracing his protruding jaw. Her mouth was humid, like the swamps of Louisiana she had explored with her brothers. Her head was beginning to pound, another indicator she had drunk herself sober.

Jane let her foot rub against the deputy's again. "I could go for a steaming bath and the greasiest burger this town can offer."

"A-and then?" Otis said, stuttering.

Jane licked her lips.

Otis paused, unsure what to make of his companion's answer.

Jane let him stew a bit before she shifted and rubbed her raw wrists.

"Please, lady, allow me," Deputy Otis said, reaching to remove Jane's oversized bracelets. "It looks like these are bothering you."

Jane flinched at first, but then extended her hands. "Never know who might swipe a lady's jewels these days. There seems to be thieves around every corner."

Otis attempted to stand and protest that his town was safe. His chair scraped against the wooden sidewalk as he leaned forward, breaking the relative peace of the waning night. The gathered crows took flight, except for the largest, who remained atop the clock, watching.

Otis ran his fingers through his slicked-back hair. He pushed his chair next to Jane's and lifted one of her hands into his. "Can I get you anything?"

Jane knew when a man was flirting, and she knew never to turn down an offer of more whiskey, so she thanked him with a flirtatious expression of her own.

She ran her fingernails up the man's arm. "The only thing on my mind isn't appropriate out here in the open."

The deputy's cheeks blushed. "If things had—"

Whatever confession he meant to spill was cut off by loud footfalls announcing the first of the townsfolk to rise for the day walking down the main boardwalk.

Otis squinted in the growing light to see who it was. The deputy burped and pointed in the newcomer's general direction. "Ah, the most important man in town. Can I assume your cake will be even bigger and better than yesterday's, Herbert?"

The pug-nosed baker nodded, but didn't offer a smile. "Bigger, I don't know, but it'll be taller that's for sure. Tallest of the bunch, ayep." His lusty gaze fell upon Jane and lingered a little too long.

Otis felt his companion's discomfort. He whispered so that only Jane could hear. "He's a good man, but a little odd for my tastes."

"Try waking me up at these hours and I'd be a bit odd myself," Jane said.

Otis grinned and clapped, happy Jane was still in good spirits. "Time is short, so let's enjoy the last whispers of the night with no worries. I'll see if there's any liquor left to be drunk. Can I assume you'll be here when I return?"

Jane gave the deputy her I'm-all-yours grin. "There's nowhere I would rather be."

Otis paused, lost in the moment. He leaned over Jane's shoulders and put her silver bracelets back in place. "This town's the safest place on earth, when I'm around, but I don't want anyone walking off with your jewelry in my absence."

"What a gentleman."

He made his way into the saloon as Jane watched the hanging body swing and rotate in a half-circle, dancing to a tune only the dead could hear. She closed her eyes when a chill shook her whole body.

A few minutes later, boisterous conversation alerted her that Otis was not returning alone. She craned her neck. The deputy was joined by a portly gentleman Jane had seen throwing his weight around since her arrival on Sunday.

"Hope you don't mind if we add a third to our little gathering," Otis said. "Hugo here may be the regional governor, but he also happens to be the proud owner of the last bottle of liquor in town until the caravan arrives."

She danced the dance, smiled her enchanting smile, and reached to shake Hugo's outstretched hand. He wore a dark red suit that was all the rage in the Midwest territories.

Jane said, "Three years ago, when the Thomas family robbed the First National bank branch in New York City, everyone was wearing those suits. Now, back east they laugh if someone dares to trot out that old trend."

Hugo puffed out his considerable chest. "And then the Thomases made the mistake of coming out west, where criminals are never in fashion. Their score here, at our bank, was the last straw. And all for what? Some exotic rug they had been hired to locate."

Without even a hint of shame, Hugo's eyes followed the curves beneath her tight floral print top with a young man's curiosity and an elder man's experience.

The trio sat at the weathered table meant for two, cracked the bottle, and drank.

Jane tipped her empty glass toward the noose. "How long will they let him suffer up there?"

Before Otis could answer, Hugo offered his form of comfort. "My lady, that criminal is beyond suffering now." The most powerful man in town paused, and then leaned toward Jane with a conspiratorial grin. "If I had had it my way, the whole thieving Thomas gang would've hung together the entire week for all the world to see. I imagine there are a number of bank workers who'd pay to spit right in their faces, dead or alive."

Jane sneered at the governor, wishing he would leave. "Looks like you've caught murder-fever just like the rest of this hang-mad town."

Otis looked shocked. "Now, wait a minute—"

He was cut off by a simple hand gesture from Hugo.

The politician wiped his brow, loosed three wet coughs, and then checked the handkerchief for blood. "Begging your pardon, ma'am. It's just how I was raised. The Thomas gang has caused a lot of havoc in my lands and need to be punished to send a message. I didn't mean to offend with my crude imagery."

"Never fear, Hugo. I'm a modern woman who's traveled from one end of the world to the other. You'll be hard pressed to find words strong enough to irk me. In fact, your best deputy here was just about to tell me the gory details behind the capture and killing of the Thomas gang."

Jane poured the trio another round. She spilled a few drops onto her fingers and made a show of licking them clean.

When Jane raised her glass in a toast, the two men were surprised but obliging.

"To one of the more creative ways to kill a family of thieves. May God's grace smile upon the great Otis Paxtonelli."

Three glasses clanked together and were empty before the crows could protest.

The governor coughed as he poured the next round, wishing the whiskey was of a higher caliber.

"To be honest with you," Otis began, not ready for another drink. "It was my fellow deputy, Willy, who brought their heights to my attention after the first two Thomases had already been captured. When we nabbed the third Thomas, Willy was wondering if perhaps we had caught the wrong people. When I asked why, he mentioned each one seemed to be bigger than the last. The third was tall, wiry, unlike the first two. I assured him it was me personally who cornered them twenty miles south of Cleveland."

Jane seemed to hang on every word, though Otis was sure she knew most of these details already. Everyone in town had been gossiping the story all week, and even a late arrival to the hanging party would've heard.

"Number four fled, but was surprised up in Ypsilanti. Turns out, he was a half inch taller than his twin brother. Of course, they're all shorter than the brains behind the whole operation."

Jane giggled. "But how did you get him to surrender without a fight?"

"I got the jump on him as he bathed."

Jane nodded toward the dead body hanging from the noose. "Always keep your gun close. Steven Thomas would've told you that was one of the first rules of being an outlaw."

Hugo offered Jane and Otis cigars. When they declined, he lit his own. "So, not only did you hunt down each member of the family personally, but you caught them in order of height. Just how tall is the tallest?"

Jane had read about the Thomas gang in various papers around the country and seen the tallest Thomas's height listed anywhere from six foot one to six foot four inches.

Before she could answer however, Otis said, "Officially, just over six foot two."

Jane raised her left eyebrow, regarding Otis with an expression that had prompted dozens of men to beg. "And now that you've collected all of the reward money, what will you do? I'd love to escort you south and show you the true beauty this country has to offer."

Hugo barked a laugh, looking at his oversized gold watch.

Otis fought the urge to close his exhausted eyes. "If I had the hand of a beautiful woman like you at my side, I doubt I'd be able to appreciate the true beauty of anything else."

Her blush was genuine.

Jane noticed the sky was noticeably lighter over toward the old blackberry plantation than it had been just a few moments ago. Morning meant more death, and she had had her fill.

Hugo lurched to his feet, graceful as a three-legged rhino. "Well, I have business to attend to, but Otis, I want you to consider my proposal."

He bent to kiss Jane's hand, letting out a grunt of protest from his doubled-over gut. The foul stench of decay escaped his mouth, gagging Jane.

"May your days—" His words cut off when he grabbed onto the back of Jane's chair for balance.

With that, the politician disappeared back into the saloon.

The clanking of a blacksmith striking a horseshoe, the grunting of men unloading a wagon behind the general store, and other various noises alerted Otis and his companion the town was beginning to stir. A few townsfolk wandered toward the square, assuring the best view of the day's execution.

Otis jutted his pointy chin. "Smells like Stubby started a batch of hash and has a fresh pot of coffee brewing. Would you like me to fix you breakfast?"

Jane shook her head, gave the deputy a sour expression, and rubbed her stomach.

"I can't eat either," said Otis.

"Because of the hanging, or is the offer from the governor bothering you?"

Annoyance flickered across the deputy's face.

"Uh-oh, looks my sharp tongue has hit the mark, yet again. You know what they say about my tongue around the south, don't you?" Jane smiled and allowed her dress strap to slide off of her shoulder.

"I've heard all I need to know about your tongue, Jane. Thank you kindly."

She shrugged, wincing from the pain that flared up from last week's excitement.

Otis noticed her discomfort. "Shoulder still bothering you?"

"I still can't believe my horse bucked me like that. I raised her, treated her better than family."

Otis nodded, understanding. "If that horse hadn't been so spooked, though, we wouldn't have been able to enjoy these drinks together."

Jane changed the subject. "What's this great offer?"

"Hugo's brother is the mayor of a new settlement out west. Hugo promised me a king's ransom to escort him out there and assured me his brother would name me as the area's first sheriff."

Jane nodded, impressed. "Just how far west?"

"All the way. Place called, 'Walla Walla'."

Jane snorted an unladylike giggle. "Sounds like you just performed two magic tricks."

The deputy grinned, distracted with thoughts of the Pacific.

"Being a sheriff would suit you just fine, but Otis, you and I both know a trip out that far west isn't the right move after all this excitement. You'll die of boredom before any criminal has a chance at you. A good-looking man who can draw a gun like you could do well in New Mexico."

He sipped and he thought. He sipped and he agreed. The largest crow cawed, announcing the dawn before any rooster had the chance.

Jane extended her arm and wrapped her hand around his. "So, tell me about number five."

He squeezed her fingers, playfully. "What's the old saying? 'The last cow is always the hardest to milk.'"

Jane gave the deputy a quizzical look before the giggles escaped.

"Well, whatever the saying is, bringing number five to justice cost more money, horses, and men than catching the first four combined. There were two times when I entertained quitting altogether. I consider myself one heck of a horseman, but the chase for number five was the most grueling thing I've had to do. Three days and nights making my way through thick woods, across rushing rivers, over mountains, and under a sun that appeared hell-bent on burning me until I cried-off. Willy took a bullet outside Toledo, Chipmunk Chabek's horse came up lame crossing into Illinois, and I'll never be rid of this scar."

As he spoke, Otis pointed to a ten-inch red line that started at the base of his left thumb, and snaked down toward his elbow.

The sun peeked above the horizon as a few of the townsfolk began finding themselves a place to watch the day's festivities.

Jane puffed out her chest, giving Otis an easy opportunity to peer down her dress. "I'd join you out west. You know that, right?"

"And you know I can't take you with me," Otis said. "Unless, of course, you're willing to deal with the governor."

He saw all the answers he needed in her furrowed brow and clenched jaw. "You're a tough one, Jane. I'll give you that."

Otis shifted and retracted his hand from Jane's as Deputy Willy limped over from the town jail. Willy handed Otis a letter.

Jane saw droplets of red seeping through Willy's leg bandages. "How's that leg healing up?"

Willy ignored her question by posing one of his own. "Just how tall are you really, Jane?"

Two men, already sporting sweat stains halfway down their backs, exited the church across the way and cut down the fourth Thomas. They dragged away the body, garnering half-hearted applause from the growing crowd.

Jane poured another shot, but her stomach was too full of butterflies to drink anymore. "We would've made one hell of a team, you and me."

Otis allowed his tightened lips to spread into a grin. "Right guy. Wrong time."

He sauntered into the town square hand in hand with Jane. As Otis reached the top step of the gallows's pole decking, he read the letter Willy had handed him aloud. "Today will be a historic day in the Midwest territories. On Monday, the world was rid of Jessup, who stood five foot five. Tuesday brought an end to Vernon, who stood five foot seven. Wednesday we hung Michael, the elder of the Thomas twins who stood six foot tall. He was the first born and the first to die. His younger brother Steven was a half inch taller and joined the others in death on Thursday. Finally, today, I can declare the world will be rid of the whole Thomas Gang."

He paused, seeing the first tear fall from his companion's eyes. Though an honorable man, at that moment Otis wondered if there truly wasn't a way he could bring along this charming and attractive woman out west with him.

He finished reading the official proclamation, knowing it would appear in every newspaper around the country. "As proclaimed by the honorable Governor Hugo von Vespertine, from hence forward, today will be remembered as, 'The Day We Hung the Tallest Thomas.'"

Jane inhaled the dry summer air. She looked down over the crowd, hearing the largest crow, still perched atop the clock tower, cawing for fresh blood.

Otis looked up, meeting Jane's expression with a tight grin. He winked and felt his stomach turn. "Take off those cuffs and string her up, boys."

The End


Douglas Esper has published 2 picture books for young readers and recently had an essay included in the collected stories book, "Remembering Our Parents" by AITE Publishing. Doug is currently ghost writing an autobiography book with rock musician Chuck Mosley, and editing a collection of short stories he hopes to publish in 2015.

Back to Top
Back to Home